Including some conflict would add interest. Maybe the society in the story discourages emotional connections, and the main characters must overcome this. Or there's a literal embracing of a physical object that grants power but comes with a cost.
In terms of audience, if it's for anime, it might have high school or college settings with a mix of comedy and drama. Alternatively, a darker, more intense storyline with action elements.
Potential pitfalls: Assuming existing knowledge about Keily Commission. Since I'm inventing it, I need to keep it coherent. Also, ensuring that the Latin connection is used effectively without being forced.